Why checking out the competition is sometimes a bad idea
How many times did I freak out while building this site - my friends a.k.a super support group can give you a detailed report I'm sure. I would be moving along confidently and then decide to go 'do some research' and check out other blogs and websites. This is usually when the trouble began. I would start comparing my website, articles, videos, myself even to every other website out there and freak out! Yes, I'm quite dramatic.
Things I would freak out about:
- "Everyone else is better than I am"
- "How in the world am I going to do all of this?"
- "Am I providing value to people?"
- "No one is every going to read / watch / come to my blog!"
- and on and on..
Lucky for me, I have the most amazing friends and mentors - many who are successful professional coaches - who readily shared their knowledge with me. I'm not telling you this to show off, but because I am going to share the knowledge they imparted on me, with you (hurrah!) It has been priceless for me and has helped me tremendously and if you're out there trying to make it on your own (I know it can be scary) I hope this knowledge can help you too!
Technique vs Mindset:
You've heard this argument before? Well, if you're still not where you want to be in life, then you haven't heard it enough! I cannot stress enough how understanding the difference between the two can change your life. No matter how much you follow in the footsteps of someone successful (technique), if you do not have the right mindset, then you're going to fail.
What is the right mindset? Read on:
1) It is ok to fail: What is your Bounce back rate?
When my business idea was shot down by a mentor I was completely bummed. Understand that I respect this person a lot and his opinions mean a lot to me. However instead of ditching the idea I decided to take his advice and use it as a template of 'things I need to improve' in the idea. It is ok to get your ideas shot down, what is important is how quickly you bounce back. Use all your rejections as a way to develop the right mindset.This is the best time to practice. If you let every rejection (and there will be many) make you lose your ground, then you will get nowhere.
2) Stop being a perfectionist!
I was told one day to repeat to myself, "I am a recovering perfectionist" as many times as necessary. Every step of the way during the process of creating this website I had to repeat that to myself or else this website much less any of it's articles or videos would never have seen the light of day. Never let your quest for perfection distract you from your true objective. This one is a tough one especially for me because sometimes it physically pains me to put out videos or designs that don't have every 't' crossed and every 'i' dotted (again with the drama!) but I won't let my perfectionism (is this even a word?) sabotage my success so I put out videos even if weren't up to my personal standards because I would much rather see them published than not at all.
3) Don't compare yourself to others
This is a recipe for disaster. Every time I compared myself to others everything I did would come to a grinding halt. I had paralysis of analysis. I would want to go back and redo everything I had done, sometimes not even publish it. Of course a good practice is to check out the 'competition' and do research but how do you do that without comparing yourself to others? And how do you know if you're getting better? The best advice I got was, "Don't compare yourself to others, but compare yourself to.. yourself." Basically, measure your progress using your past work as a measuring stick. Is what you are doing now better than what you did before? If so, then you're making progress. This way you're learning from the people around you but you're only measuring your progress against yourself (not easy, I know, I still freak out every once in a while, but with this mindset I can pull back and get centered and focused again much quicker).
4) Do work regardless
Your mind is going to protest a lot of things - especially work! The only way to combat this is to pull a Nike and just do it. Because I had taken the time to set my point and goals (check out my video where I talk about this here) I knew where I wanted to go, and even though there were many times my mind would protest and try and stall, it was as if I was on auto pilot. I would just do work regardless. The ability to take action is what differentiates a person who succeeds and a person who just talks about it.
5) Hang out with other successful people
This one might be more of a habit than a mindset. Hanging out with other successful people helps you to cultivate the right mindset to become successful. Successful people don't always have to be super rich, billionaires. Just seek out people whom you admire and think of as successful. Successful people aren't successful because they have some freakin magic dust they sprinkle around. They're not special alien beings. The only difference between you and successful people is the mindset that they have. The faster you start cultivating the same mindset they have, the quicker you'll get to where you want to be.
Try doing a little quiz. Rate yourself from 1 to 5 (1 being the worst and 5 being the best):
- I bounce back within hours or sometimes a few days.
- I am a recovering perfectionist
- I measure my progress against myself
- I do work regardless
- I hang out with people I consider successful
If you scored below 4 on any of the questions, you know that this is the mindset area you need to work on.
These five mindsets (or 4 + 1 habit, whatever) have helped me not only in building this site and starting a business, but also in so many other ways. Of course there are more mindsets that successful people have that I have not mentioned.
Do you have any that you would like to share? Please leave them in the comment below..
xoxo
Hani
ps: sometimes a little freaking out, is actually quite fun! :D
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Reader Comments (8)
Love the post. Definitely great takeaways. I love #4. Do work regardless. I can't stress this enough in my life.
Can't wait to read your next article.
[...] super cool video editor at MindValley) has whipped up. It’s from her fresh off the press blog, The Blisscipline. I dare ya to check [...]
I have a question, you may find it a bit unusual...but before I ask this question, I want you to know, that one...I am very grateful for findersMinds...I appreciate all that you do to help people...including me. When I first watched the secret, as I sat alone watching it...I thought to myself...I thought I was the only person on this planet who thought that way. I had no idea other people were any where near how I thought...and I thought I was misunderstood for thinking the way I did. I considered my self the poster child for the secret...and as I got into it, really got all the way into it, and then beyound it...and way beyound that...where I am writting my own chapter, for the next series....and I am an artist, who has just for the first
thank you for this. i'm going through this right now... but i've learned to never compare myself and my work to others! ;) wisdom that is drawn from personal experience is always powerful.
blessings
Elisabeth
Lol.. I think you missed out your question debra :)
Thank you for your feedback Elisabeth, I appreciate it :)
[...] Sometimes when we get too relaxed, that inner demon of inactivity pops it ugly head and wants to stay inactive. At times like these remember the mindset to: Do work regardless! [...]
Thanks for this Hani! #2,3,4 are spot on for me. Being a perfectionist and then comparing what I've done with what other's have done ... is a deadly mix. I'm recovering from this (I really really want to)
As for doing work regardless, I try my best to do this every time. It takes a lot of discipline but when I was able to really put it in my system, the results were very satisfying. I still falter sometimes but its these moments are getting more rare as I go along.
Its comforting to read about someone who was able to overcome these problems (coz I'm dealing with 'em right now).... and was able to successfully execute her plan!
I'm happy you were able to overcome it coz check out your blog now! Its awesome. If you can, then can. :)
Lotsa love xoxo.