Someone told me that women are really good at feeling emotions and so when there is any drama in their lives, it is easier for women to handle it. I feel that women do indeed feel a lot of emotions, but many people (I use people and not women because this applies to all) do not know - or at least do not practice - how to identify their emotions.
I feel like crap
I'm so angry right now
She/he is making me mad
I am so sad
There is nothing wrong with this, however when I learnt how to start identifying my emotions, I learnt the cause of the emotion and when I know what is causing it, I could either solve it or work on solving it.
Let me explain, let's say there has been a misunderstanding between friends. Your friend did or didn't do something that has offended you. So the first emotion your feel is anger or annoyance towards your friend. It could stop there and you will continue to feel like your friend has done your wrong and is 'annoying' you OR you could dig a little deeper.
This part doesn't come easy with people. It requires some practice and total honesty with yourself. People usually do not want to dig deeper because that means that they will sometimes have to admit to having emotions that do not fit their idea of who they are.
For instance, let's say your friend was supposed to call you, but hasn't returned your last two calls. You are now annoyed. All these feelings bubble up and you create a situation where she/he is being so rude and insensitive and that she/he thinks they are better than everyone yadda, yadda...
That may be true BUT you could still benefit from knowing why this is annoying you so much.
So you ask yourself:
What am I feeling right now?
First up, will be anger and annoyance.
Ask again, what am I feeling right now?
So now perhaps you are paying more attention to your body and other emotions bubble to the surface:
I am feeling indignant. I am feeling ignored.
And keep going..
I am feeling a little bit of shame. I am feeling left out. I am feeling pushed away.
I am feeling forgotten. I am feeling unloved. I am feeling lonely.
Now of course this is just an example. Not everyone will have the same emotions! But now you know what is really bothering you. You can now ask yourself if your friend is really [insert all thoughts that bubbled up before] or are you lashing out on her/him?
And if you think that they were set out to annoy you, you can ask yourself if you still want to keep their company.
This little tip has really changed the way I view a lot of things that come up in my life. It has allowed me to take back responsibility for my life instead of giving away my power and allowing others to 'control' me and my emotions!
What about you? Why don't you try this tip and leave me a comment below as to how it went!