Eliminating ‘Shoulds’ and listening to your body Posted in Personal, Self Mastery on March 18th, 2010

I used to live in the world of ’shoulds’. You know when you stress out because you shoulda done this or that. I also used to fall sick a lot until I realised that there was a correlation between me stressing out and falling sick (DOH! Took me all this time!) Anyway, what’s more important is that I noticed my body would give off signs to show that I am overusing it.

Why is this important for you to know?

Back in the day when I was living in the land of ’shoulds’, I wouldn’t pay any attention to these subtle signs and just plow on. What would happen was that the quality of my work would drop, I’d get cranky, needy, stuck, uncreative and eventually fall sick (usually with a cold or a cough).

Last year I watched a talk on Ted Talks by Stefan Sagmeister (designer extraordinaire) on the power of taking time off. You can check out the video here:

This concept of taking time off made such an impact on me that I reassessed my life to see where I was blocking myself from reaching my full potential by refusing to take time off.

Read more after the jump..

In order to get where I wanted to go I had to look at the bigger picture and not only at the current story.

It made more sense to take a few days off to ‘restock’ than to have the quality of my work drop or fall sick in the long run. Even though at the time I was thinking to myself, “I should do this because of [insert whatever reason here]” I would make a conscious decision to listen to myself and take the time off needed. I didn’t take a whole year of like Sagmeister! I would take a weekend off. Really off. No work, I would do all the things that I enjoyed. I mostly took this time and spent it by myself catching up on reading, movies, all the little half done projects I had started, sometimes even a night out dancing, going for massages, taking a bath or anything else that caught my fancy.

Recognizing the signs

I’m sure the signs are different in everyone. But there will always be some signs, first subtle, then more in your face till you fall sick and you’re forced to take some time off (which sometimes some people don’t even stop when they fall sick!) Some of the signs for me are:

• I start sleeping longer – this is one of the first things that happen. I usually function on 5-6 hours of sleep. As soon as I start sleeping 7 hours, I know to slow down.
• I suddenly lose interest in things that inspire me – this is a dead giveaway. No matter what I do, suddenly nothing seems all that interesting. My mind starts wandering and I can’t focus on anything.
• I start eating more.

Really a dead giveaway is when I suddenly start loosing focus and things that have nothing to do with my goals start pulling my attention. This is when I start feeling like I’m forcing myself to do the work that I usually find enjoyable. When this starts happening, I know something is amiss because I LOVE what I do. Learn to pay attention to the changes in your body. I always know when I’m about to fall sick, and when the first signs appear, I immediately take action!

What happened next?

By giving myself the permission to be a total sloth, my body started unwinding. You could almost feel the tight grip I had my body in slowly relaxing and letting go. I also started enjoying work (and it starting to feel like play again and not so much ‘work’). I would actually come back with a fresh perspective and new ideas, full of my usual passion, creativity and be seriously inspired! I kid you not. Just from a few days to myself! I also would go back to my usual eating and sleeping patterns.

Word of Caution

Sometimes when we get too relaxed, that inner demon of inactivity pops its ugly head and wants to stay inactive. At times like these remember the mindset to:

Do work regardless!

Remember to re-read your Bliss List to spark that passion and jump start you out of inactivity!

Also, taking time off does not mean going out partying all weekend and going into work totally knackered. I’m not saying don’t go out and party, but partyin is very taxing to your body and you should really take time off to give your body a chance to recover.

So again, why is this important to you?

If you’re out there following your Bliss, trying to do things your way, you really are you biggest fan. If you falter then there is no one else out there who can get you back in the game. So when you allow yourself this time to rebuild your fences you’re telling yourself that you will stand by you. And when you realise that you are taken care of, you go further than ever before!

So, have you ever taken time off to just give yourself some ‘I love me’ time? If so, what changes did you notice? Also, what are the signs that your body gives to let you know it’s time to slow down? Leave your answers in the comment box below!

xoxo

Hani

PS I’ve just come back from a great weekend of ‘lovin me’ time (not like that! Get your mind outta the gutter!) *wink*

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